world-o-technology...I'm overloaded!

I have seen a lot of technology come and go in my 38 years. When I think about it all I realize how old I am. This short list just barely scratches the surface of what truly has happened in the world-o-tech:

1. Let's just start with the evolution of the phone. As a child, I remember that my grandmother still had a party-line and could just dial the last four digits of a number to get the person on the other end. I thought that was neat. My mom had one of the first car phones: it looked like a regular office desk phone but worked like a CB radio. I thought that was even better. Then as a teen I had a bag phone: bulky and not exactly portable, but you could take it in the car. I thought I was cool. Now my kids both have tiny cell phones and can text better than I can. And my cell phone is way more advanced than I am.
2. I have also seen the beginnings of "at-home movie-watching". A friend in high school had one of the earlier versions of what later became the VCR: these were large, album-sized discs with movies. Then a roommate in college had a VCR: the tapes were smaller, of course, and we could even record our soaps while in class. (I thought she was rich because she had one of these!) Then as a grown-up I bought a DVD player: again, even smaller, and I could record my own children on these and watch them over and over. Now, I'm addicted to Netflix--where the movies just arrive and I can keep them as long as I want. No more driving to the rental store and hoping they still have one copy left to rent.
3. As far as music is concerned: I've seen records come and go, eight-tracks come and go (actually, my mom still has an eight-track player and some tapes), cassettes come and go, and I fear that CDs will soon be a thing of the past. In fact, with the iPod they already are.
4. I don't even know where to begin on how much computers have changed over the years. It seems overwhelming to think about. I had access to computers in college for the first time. The big rage then was to take computer classes because "they were the future". They were glorified typewriters, could do some word processing, and spoke a language I couldn't understand (DOS, ROM).

Well, here I am and the future is now. I have three computers in my home and one in my office. And if you count my Blackberry, I currently have one in my pocket. I'm surrounded by technology. And I'm overloaded.

my new passion?

Most of you that know me, know that I HATE to exercise. There are a number of reasons, but the main two are: 1. I sweat profusely and I loathe sweating even more than the actual exercise, and 2. It is never fun, so I quit after a while. Some additional reasons are that in order to exercise one needs just a smidge of athletic ability and I have NONE, and that I have never found anything I like to do for exercise. Until now. I have discovered that I enjoy bicycling. Yes, I used "enjoy" and "bicycling" in the same sentence. In trying to decide what I like about it, I have given it much thought. Here is what I came up with: 1. I can do this form of exercise sitting down. How great is that?? 2. Even though I'm sweating profusely there is a constant breeze while in motion. The breeze combined with the perspiration is a cooling sensation on my skin. 3. I like the way I feel when I turn corners--I think it even possibly looks cool to lean into the turns. 4. When I mention it to people on Fb or f2f, they seem impressed. Although, that shouldn't really be a reason. I'm sure you are all wondering if I even realize that it has health benefits. And yes, I understand that part as well. I'm developing more stamina and breathing easier even when I ride longer. (I'm sure it's done something to help my organs and blood, too, but I have no clue about such things.) I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I really like it. WOW. I never thought I would say that about any form of exercise. But, I actually miss it when I can't go. I don't want anything to get in the way or mess up my riding schedule. It's so freeing to get on my bike, plug in the iPod, and just start pedaling. It's like I found a new part of me and I want this feeling to last.

that was then, this is now

I haven't blogged for a while, but have wanted to within the last month. I've felt reluctant to do so because I'm risking being exposed. Really exposed. I usually consider myself an open person with the ones I truly care about--friends, family. They might even think the same thing about me, but they don't really know that even in this openness--I hold back. I guard my true heart. Even my closest friends don't know the things that lurk there...scary things, funny things, hurtful things, happy things. I don't know how to really open up and reveal those precious things I've locked away in my heart. It seems that when I think I can, I back off. I just don't. Recently I've become reacquainted with a friend from college. This isn't just any friend, and never was for that matter. My friend is special to me and was even then--has it really been 15 years?? Then, I was a 20-year-old girl with idealistic views about relationships. Then, I was dating someone long-distance. Then, I felt that spark, but was afraid of it. Then, I didn't know how to steer my own life. Then, I was daydreaming. Now, it's all different. Now, things are more clear. Now, I'm 37 (!!) and "grown-up". Now, I have a more realistic view of life and what to expect. Now, I know what I want. Now, I know what pain, happiness, contentment, sorrow, joy, laughter feels like. Now, I'm single. Now, I know who controls my life. Now, I know that long-ago spark was real because it's still there. Now, it's alive. Now, I'm really dreaming. I'm exposed. I'm vulnerable. It scares me...I like it.